Juniors Lessons

A Word to the Wise on Tennis Parenting

by Jack W. Broudy

I spend a majority of my time either at the junior tournaments, teaching and training juniors and working on tennis related projects. The rest of my time I spend dealing with parents, including, coaching them on tournament etiquette, explaining why the kids are playing the way they are, and generally trying to get them not to over-react.

The things I see parents do are so silly. One mother said to her son as they looked at the draw, "Oh, you don't have to play anybody until the semi-finals. What is the matter with you?" That kid ended up losing in the first round. This is way to much pressure to put on a junior, especially in the 12 and unders. The kid has no place to go but down. I don't expect all the parents out there to teach fair play and healthy competition, but openly showing disrespect for an entire group of players to your child is shocking and surely the major ingredient for failure. This particular kid had a high ranking in Southern California and now in the 14's is virtually unknown. This type of parental behavior guaranteed it.

Another little 12 year old girl said to me during our private lesson that her mother "didn't love her right now," and that her mother was more proud of her brother because he was doing better in the tournaments than she. I told her that it wasn't true, but of course the damage was done. Many parents inadvertently spend too much time either praising or chastising their child's tournament performance to the point it where becomes a judgement on a kid's character and his entire future. Keep your comments to something like, "good job" or "tough luck." If they ask, give them your feedback and analysis on what you saw, or ask them what they thought about it. Whatever you do--don't yell at them. You'll (eventually) take all the the fun out of competition and tennis. The child will get turned off to tournaments, tennis and you.

I could go on and on with tennis stories about parents going so far as to being involved in fist fights in the stands (over a line call), but I want to get to the other areas of parent/child tennis development. Namely I want to talk briefly about practice, lessons, and junior tennis in the home.

You got your kids involved with tennis for their enjoyment, exercise and for social and competitive interaction. Don't blow it by turning them off and making their junior experience a thing of work and pressure--or even a nightmare. Let the kids have fun. Let them play the game. Believe me almost all of them are out there to do their best, make you proud, and win.

Make sure your child wants to play and enjoys competitive play. Remember, tennis is a great game and can be a fun and positive experience at any level. Seek out different levels of competition. In Southern California we have sanctioned tournaments, but we also have satellites, Wilson Grand Prix (slightly lower level), NCTP (introductory tournaments) and Penn League. Find the places where your child will get competition, but where he or she will have a chance of doing well. Confidence and "the winning habit" are two things that should be instilled early. There always has to be hope if you want the best performance and your child's best effort.

The one piece of advise I can't emphasis enough is finding a coach that you trust is a good instructor, as well as a positive influence and role model for your child. Most accredited (and many not accredited) are good at what they do and care about doing a good job. Find one, and once you do, then let he or she do their job. Periodic updates are good, but try not to become too involved in the day to day of the player.

Treat it like a blue chip stock that you buy and check on once in a while--a long term investment. However, stay aware of the investment. If your child doesn't show any improvement in the first three to six month period, talk to the coach--see what's going on. Always look for the big three ingredients and make sure they're all being added to the mix: 1) coaching/instruction; 2) inspired practice; 3) match play. If your child is not improving (give it 3-6 months, no longer) find out which one of these is missing or weak.

Don't sit on the court every time your child goes out to practice. They'll grow accustomed to having you there and you'll end up being their crutch Tennis is played alone, no coaching. When a parent sits on the sidelines during every match, the child develops the habit of always looking over at the parent, instead of staying focused inside their court. In these situations, I notice the kids look at their parents after almost every point, especially the bad ones. (What do you think that means?) The whole idea of looking around constantly is a bad habit because it takes away from the oneness and focus of the game.

One more thing-- if you have to constantly question or debate with the coach, maybe you have the wrong coach or--maybe it's you. Make sure you rationally come to the right conclusion. It could mean your child's future and his or her happiness. Keep your own ego out of it. This sport is intended to be a source of pleasure and exercise for a lifetime.

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