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Robert
C. Murio
Coping With Competition
Robert C. Murio, Competitive Sports Counselor
Okay, so you are sick and tired of losing matches that you feel like you
should have won. I know the dialogue, "this player is nowhere near
as good as I am. I shouldn't even lose a set to this jerk." Believe
me, I have been there. In over thirty years of competitive play at the highest
level I have lost a great number of matches that I thought I should have
won. Boy, it would just eat at me for days after I lost. In fact some of
these matches are etched in my memory such that I often replay them, point
by point. Guess what? The outcome is still the same. I lost! Oh yes, you
and I, as fellow competitors in a game that we love, could spend endless
hours rehashing "the match that got away."
But where does all this worry and second guessing get us? Does it somehow
feel better if we tell ourselves that the loss was only an aberration? Do
we believe it when we say, "I'll never lose a match like that again"?
The answer to all these questions is a resounding, "No!"
I know, now you are expecting me to tell you how to alleviate all the frustration
and how to win all those matches. Wrong! If I could do that I would still
be playing and every player in the world would be looking at me as some
kind of guru. What I can do is give you a fresh new perspective on the competitive
situation. With this new perspective comes a new attitude towards your life
and as a result you will be able to better cope with the inevitable frustrations
that are inherent in tennis tournament competition.
There are two key words in this new perspective: "attitude" and
"cope." The interesting and exciting part is that the two aspects
are interrelated and are totally controlled by you. The attitude one
takes towards the events that happen to and around oneself is strictly up
to the individual. One cannot always control what happens, but one can always
decide how one is going to let what happens effect them. For instance,
I was stricken with arthritis in my hip which now makes it impossible for
me to be competitive at the championship level in my age bracket. However,
I now have time to pursue other interests which have been pushed aside because
of all the endless hours devoted to tournament competition. I also am able
to enjoy the sport of tennis purely for its aesthetic value. I no longer
worry about winning or losing, and I am finding a new enthusiasm and love
for the game. I do not waste time and energy worrying about that which I
cannot control (the arthritis). As a result of my attitude, I am able to
cope with the debilitating effects of my physical condition. How, then,
does my example relate specifically to your competitive situation? You have
chosen the competitive sports arena as a significant part of your life.
With that choice comes the inevitable fact that with the exhilarating victories
also come the agonizing defeats. The essence of competition is the inevitability
of a grueling clash between two or more determined foes wherein one wins
and the other loses.
It is this very essence of competition which makes it so enticing and appealing.
However, one cannot control the competitive outcome. Winning or losing
a particular match is not in one's control. The attitude one must employ
as a competitor is one of resignation to the constant rollercoaster of wins
and losses. The way to cope with this realization is to devote one's time
and energy to the physical, technical and emotional preparation for the
competitive matches. It is this aspect of competition over which one has
control. The way in which one should prepare for the competitive arena will
be the subject of future articles, but suffice it to say that the competitor
who is the most thoroughly prepared will have the most success. One
must make a detailed analysis of one's physical condition and design a conditioning
program that will address his/her specific needs. One must analyze one's
stroke production and design a program that will continually improve one's
weaknesses while accentuating one's strengths. Match strategy is often given
no attention at all, but many losses are caused by repeatedly committing
the same strategic errors at the most crucial times. However, the most neglected
area of preparation is the emotional analysis. Are you emotionally ready
to enter the competitive arena? If not, the results could be disastrous.
I dare say the best recent example would be the collapse of Greg Norman
in the final round of the Masters. How could the world's acclaimed
"best golfer" perform in such a manner? I believe upon close analysis
one would find that Greg's emotional preparation was totally ignored, thus
the possibility of collapse. If one is totally prepared for each
and every competitive encounter, the wins will come as a pleasant by-product.
More importantly, the losses will not be as agonizing because one's emotions
will not be a slave to that which one cannot control. This new attitude
will allow you to enjoy the true nature of the competitive experience. Try
it in your next competition and it will make the experience both enjoyable
and rewarding.
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